Finances Shouldn’t Keep You Awake
It’s 3 a.m. and you’re stressing about money. . .again. We’ve all had an impulse purchase we’ve regretted or something we’ve forgotten to take into account when figuring out the budget for the month. But how can you cope with the deeper, darker feeling like you’re failing with your finances?
Recognizing It
Remember, financial anxiety is just a feeling. Though it may be valid, it isn’t an insurmountable challenge. Most of the time, a little mindfulness and confidence is all you need to help you turn your feeling of helplessness into a situation you can manage. Granted, it’s easier said than done. With social media pressures presenting picture-perfect lifestyles and our own perceptions of what people have and how they afford it all, it can be an additional burden.
Speaking of Perception
Above all else, money is simply a tool. It’s easy to forget that when we wrap so many other emotions and contexts around it. Strip away the hype around money and it’s easier to cope. Think very seriously about money, budgeting, finances, financial goals, etc. Does it freak you out? If you have a fear-based reaction, you might be stuck in a very passive mindset when it comes to money. This can lead to increased anxiety and muddled thinking. A healthier approach would be to respect money, not fear it. Respecting money is a more active, in-control mindset. You work hard to earn it, you want to make sure you are using it mindfully and intentionally.
Get Your Head in the Game
So, you’ve thought about all the ways money can stress you out and how you can take an active approach to your mindset to lessen the stress. Before you start dealing with the anxiety, give yourself credit for being anxious about your finances. If you weren’t bothered, you wouldn’t be bothered to look at it critically. A little worry is healthy—it helps keep you sharp and guards against complacency. Next, focus on the positive and confront the fears. List the positives you have going for you financially. Even if it’s just the idea that you’re willing to work on your situation, it’s still a step in the right direction. Then, go worst case scenario. “What would happen if X came to pass?” What would you do? More importantly, how realistic is it that X happens? Talk yourself through how you could handle your worst fears. There are always more options than you may think.
Take control and make a plan
Put a budget down on paper and use it as a guide on how you have spent money. Don’t feel bad when you see spending patterns which are less than ideal. Use it as a budget as a map and re-route your spending where you can. Are there areas to cut back or swap out? Subscription TV, unused memberships, grocery bills and food expenses more than they could be? Get creative and shop around. Budgets should be dynamic—sometimes you have to adjust as situations change. Keep
evaluating your spending and your budget as time passes.
Get an emergency fund going. Even if it’s just a small amount at first, build savings into your budget so you can see “wins” as you save up. It’ll also take the edge off of some of your worst-case scenarios since you’ll be building a cushion to land on, if needed.
After you see where you’re at financially and where you’re going to, talk it through and ask for help. Educate yourself on areas you are unsure of. Meet with a Credit Counselor, Financial Advisor, Insurance Rep—whoever can help you shore up your knowledge and make you more confident. If you have a partner, share your feelings with them, even if you keep your finances separate. If they don’t know that you’re struggling with this anxiety, they can’t help you though it and assist with your plan to get it under control. Finally, get a little perspective from someone you feel has control over their finances—chances are they’ve struggled in the past and they may have tips to help you.
As you go forward in this process, do not feel guilty or shame yourself. We all are our own worst critics and beating yourself up over money mistakes in the past doesn’t do any good. Continue to learn and measure yourself against your goals. The ultimate way to tame financial anxiety is to challenge yourself to be better than you were before you started on this financial journey, one step at a time.
